lest i lose it

​It’s an old habit, believing this particular lie. In a peculiar way, it brings a brand of comfort that I strangely miss when I’m disbelieving it, the old lie that I’m alone. 

That’s the way old habits fit, you know. Like an old sweater, worn and familiar, even if they don’t fit so well anymore. That’s what a habit is, after all. What we wear when we go through our days. 

And some days, the old habits feel like home, even though they are, in truth, what lead us away from home. They feel like home, because they are familiar. Our hearts are bent toward familiarity, which is why we keep going back to what we know. It’s why we keep following the old habits even though we know they’re leading us away. 

This is why, He tells me, I must be more familiar with Him than with the old habits. This is why, He tells me, I must know Him better than I know the old lies. This is why, He tells me, because He wants my heart bent on familiarity to find Him. 

So, quietly, insistently, I must say until it becomes the old, familiar sweater and then keep saying it, lest I lose it, “You are never alone, Must Be Loved. He is ever with you. And so are the passel of flesh and blood people He’s surrounded you with just to prove it. You are known by more than just Him. And you are still loved and liked and accepted. You are never, ever alone.”


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